I’m Exhausted

Eight weeks pregnant. I’m exhausted, I have nausea and had my first panic attack a week ago. Luckily im not vomiting but sure do feel like shit. I’ve gone from not being able to sleep (not sure if it was from my anxiety) to sleeping 8-9 hours and taking naps. I told myself I would…

Shit, I’m Pregnant- That Was Fast

I am going to be brutally honest, its scary. Not only do I have to put my life on hold but I have always been that person that believed in adopting because there are way too many children out there without parents. Its an idea that popped in my head at 5 years old. I…

Empowering Others and Taking Less Space

“Why does it matter to you, you’ll be gone next year.” “Things don’t change overnight.” “You know people have had this mentality for so long, sometimes you just can’t change their mind.” I came into work today because I had an admissions presentation for prospective students. While waiting, I decided to ask one of my…

Sweet Phillippines- Mabuhay

A lot has happened these couple of months. I got married with the best human in the world ( I’m sure everyone says that about their partner) and I decided to play hard. After working so much to get where I am professionally, I think its about time I embrace everything I have worked for…

Conquering Hyperdocumentation

How do you conquer the feeling of not being enough? Of feeling like you need another degree to make yourself feel valid? And how do I convince others that I am more than qualified? The ugliness of insecurities. The idea of getting another master’s degree or pursuing my PhD has been rattling in my brain…

Conditionally accepted

One blog that continues to reach my soul and articulate everything I have been going through is InsideHigherEd’s Conditionally Accepted. Its a blog I ritually open every day to be inspired and conscious of the ways our systems have in some form or way slated me or benefited from my brownness. I know loaded with…

Brown Approval: DENIED!

“I know how it feels, been there”, as I wait for the two to finish and say, “done that”. Being oppressed by the oppressed, its real y’all. At first I thought these two different women, one Black and one Latina, each from a different phase in my life at the same university, were just trying…

Another day, otro dolar

On the issue of feeling alone I have come to realize that I’m not the first one to feel this way in a primarily white institution, nor will I be the last. We live in a time where everyone is scurrying to their people of color to figure out how to tackle issues of racism,…

One of the few

Its lunch time, well late lunch time. I’m sitting here in a lonely lobby. I always knew I was independent and loner but when did it become okay to default to being lonely all the time? I work for a small religious based university- in Illinois. We preach solidarity and community but as much as…