One of the best and unfortunate things about being in an interracial relationship is preparing yourself for the talk with your new baby. Things that might come up are:
- Why are we brown?
- Why is there so much violence?
- Why do people hate people?
- Whats racism?
That’s right i’m not talking about the sex talk, that’s the least of our worries as people of color.
As I am counting down the days of when the baby comes into the world, I keep thinking of the anxiety inducing conversations that I will have with either my daughter or son. One of the most saddest things I can think of is having a conversation with my kid on topics about their rights. I don’t think a lot people know that it is also common in our brown communities. I grew up being told what to do in the case of”……(fill in with racist or discriminatory issue)” or “mija nunca platiques sobre nuestra situacion (dont talk about our situation). Fear was in-bedded in our community. Fear of being asked where we are from, or whether we are even allowed to exist or fear of deportation, was normalized. Knowing my rights at an early age was a rite of passage. Standing up for my family and translating was a skill I obtained at such an early age. Growing up, I made it my duty to always be there for my family in case anyone tried taking advantage. It is what I was meant to do. I was meant to be a person who constantly had eyes everywhere, due to never trusting anyone or any system. To always have back up plans in case the original plan didnt work out. I guess I have a complex that’s bleeding into all facets of my life.
The talk has become threaded into our being, whether you are from the black, native or brown community. As a result, I cannot shelter my kid, its not a choice. Helping someone develop into a respectable human being is scary, and to some extent, I am responsible on how they turn out later on. I know, I might be overthinking it but the biggest concern I have is not only how to be real with my kid about racism and sexism, and all the isms out there, but how not to be racist and how to be respectful of other human beings; how to honor your culture and live with integrity.
I wish I had support from my sisters. My sisters don’t get it. Despite one being in an interracial relationship with a black man, its hard to think that some of the conversations I’ve had with her could be as deep as my concerns. I don’t think she gets it. She was born and raised in Mexico, once was undocumented and now a citizen. The other sister married someone Mexican and is probably even worse. Both are light skinned and sometimes are mistaken for being white-Caucasian. I mean the privilege is there.
They are the epitome of what I fear of my community becoming. A community that forgets where they came from and turn out to be just like our past and current persecutors. So who can I turn to during this time?
How do you prepare for this? Are there such groups out there that talk about these issues?
#woke #newmom #latina #chicana #futureworkingmom #featured