I currently reside in Illinois and our state is in “stay-at-home” status during the covid-19 pandemic. In the midst of all of this chaos and our moments of attempting to remain sane, my husband and I are at our wits end. Since we are not essential, we are officially working from home and it has been testing us, to say the least.
Today after he had washed the dishes and cleaned a bit of the kitchen, he told me he was going to watch virtual church. All I said was, “okay just take our baby with you”. He said, “no, I just washed the dishes and cleaned”.
I never knew that cleaning and doing things around the house would exempt you from taking care of your kid. If I knew this, im officialy owed time off.
I know our schedules have been hectic and our whole world has been turned upside down. I once had a 9-5 job and I now work in spurts(sometimes, when im not chasing the baby around). My husband consistently works from 6-3. He has to maintain his regular schedule since his work is timed. As a result, I do as much as I can during the weekday so he could focus, but now my job is at stake.
I cant work. So whenever he takes those long lunch breaks, goes on his phone while eating, watches tv without even considering that our baby is running around or having a guys date night, im over here thinking about when is my time?
I have learned that my time now is being able to just take one flavorful sip of coffee because I rarely get to do that, otherwise im chugging it without even tasting one bit of it.
Its when I run away from my baby to the bathroom, with lights off so he doesn’t see where I go because hearing him scream or cry or say “mami”, just breaks my heart and makes me not take time for myself.
I dont think my husband understands how a mother’s heart is so tethered to every movement your baby makes and to some extent, I feel like my husband subconsciously takes advantage of it because its just easier, but im tired.
How is it possible to feel lonely when I have been around my family now more than when im working from the office? You may think im exaggerating but I think other moms will understand.
So what was my response to my husband when he sharply said no? I said,
“I have watched him all week, I need you to do this”.
And the only response I get is, ” fine, whatever, come here baby, lets go” stomps upstairs and slams the door.
I just wanted peace and I wanted moment to feel like I had life together…..
#newmom #workingfromhome #covid19